Appreciation

Checkin' in here. Because it's been a minute and some serious shit's gone down.

I'll be honest with you, fully. I have my days. Sometimes I have a few in a row. And then, I'm fine for a week, give or take. I've had the full blown roller coaster. I started the stay at home orders fully working from home, but only at part time hours. I started the last week of March going back into the office (with only 5-7 other people, all of us in our respective corners guarding a container of Clorox wipes) for only a few hours a week. After day 2 it was obvious, I was needed more than a few hours here and there. Back to a full time I went. And in office.

I won't lie, at first this made me very apprehensive. But the office had been deep cleaned, and every door handle and light switch was lysoled pretty much as it was touched. If anything, this place might be cleaner than home. We continued to take our places in the office, each guarding our own canister of lysol wipes, ready to attack. But Megan.. do you really need to be in the office? I know, it sounds crazy. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE is at home. So to answer your question, yes it is. 

I work in continuing education. We are a tiny school in comparison to so many others, our total population hovers around 200 people year round. Up until March 30th, 2020, we were 100% brick and mortar. There was a very brief 2 week period where our entire curriculum was put online. I can't take credit for it, but it was a major project that many would describe as "moving mountains" and it is one of the more impressive things I've ever seen done. Our education journey continues while our students stay home.

But if I'm being honest it's still not complete and it won't be for a long time. We're building what we need as we need it. Our systems don't speak to each other so I speak many languages and do double the work to make them speak with each other. I am a help desk for a system I'm still learning myself. I'm a therapist for students who call in, mid break down because of life. I'm a cleaning lady cleaning up after myself every hour. Along with everything else that my job description already entailed. 

To add to it, I haven't been to a gym in 6 weeks. This is 100% without a doubt the longest I've ever gone without a gym. Unless you've been living under a rock, you know I live at the gym when not working. So, it's been interesting. 

My husband works nights. He usually leaves around 5pm and gets home between 3-5am, depending on the night. Pre-COVID? No big deal, I'd head to the gym and do my thang. Now? I had to learn how to ride my bike indoors about 30 feet away from him quietly. I had to learn how to shower quietly. I won't lie, it took us easily 2 weeks, if not longer, to get into a rhythm that worked. And it's still not perfect. 

But can I just let you know how G R A T E F U L I am. This is a time in my life I never imagined I'd live through. Yet here I am, and I'm lucky enough to be able to help others through this terrible time. I come home sad a lot. Sad because it was a rough day. Sad because Rob and I literally exchanged hellos in the driveway while he left for work as I just got home. Sad because I was SO hopeful to race this year. Sad because I can't see my family the way I want to. Sad because I miss my friends like crazy. Sad because my legs crave a recovery swim day like you can't f*ckin' imagine. Sad because when I go to a grocery store, people are almost afraid to look you in the eye. Sad because I have some close friends who are have been working on the front line in hospitals and morgues daily, and hearing their stories makes my heart sink. Sad because I know the world is missing out on so many milestones right now: 1st birthday parties, weddings, grandparents meeting their first grandchild, high school graduations, senior proms. You know, the big things in life you dream about. But I'm waking up everyday and helping others get an education. And soon those people will walk into the healthcare field ready to fight this battle. And I'll have had a {small} hand in that. Like I said... G R A T E F U L.

Rob and I will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary in a few short weeks. Had you told me 1 year ago that this is what our life would entail... 😖

But if anything, this time has taught me to slow down. Appreciate. Respect the day you've been given. Tomorrow is promised to no one, and this is a thought that races through my mind daily as I watch the news and see the COVID-19 updates. 

This is a common view for me after work these days. Something I can't say I did a lot of, pre-COVID life. As much as I wish I could share this time with friends and family, I'm respecting what the world has asked of me and keeping my distance and falling a little more in love with me. A little more in love with my husband. Appreciating what we have and praying that our world will begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel soon. 

If you need us, us Sloan's are over here hunkering down. I often go on baking frenzies and leave treats on doorsteps. If this is something that interests you, let me know and I'll add your house to my list. You'll never know when it's coming. Instead, one day you'll open your door and smile just knowing that you're about to sink your teeth into some homemade love from the Sloan's. 

Whoever needs to hear this... Chin Up Charlie. This too shall pass. A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor. We're in this together.

Cheers.